Fucked up

Happy easter sunday everyone. While i am typing this blog entry with my iphone. Tears are flowing, blood is rushing and my heart is breaking.any would say that this is one of those saturdays that screams FAMILY TIME. while some would say, that's its a very calm day, a day for one to reflect, relax and just think. But for me, today was HELL. There were fights, screams, sermons, attacks, and a ton of pain. This is one of those situations wherein you feel sad and helpless and you get your phone and call somebody that would listen to you. Well for me, all i have is this iphone.

Now, i am not the person you think i am. As my mom calls me "plastic". Well i am one. There are times that i'm bot the hardworking, jolly, optimistic student you see roaming around campus. I am the complete exact of a good person. And how i pray that there be somebody who could, would or might accept me for who i really am. Cause right bow, i really got nobody. For those who knows me, i am the type of person that knows a lot people. But when troublrs arise....i'm an outcast.


So whoever is reading this. I cant tell you much because if i did nobody would be friends with me, but i badly need a friend right now so please lean over and lend me a shoulder for tonight.

just...

I think it has been 3 years since i have written a poem. after meeting a new friend ( Mr. Jerome Alvarez) and talking to one of my childhood friend (Ms. Ailyn Shi), who are both part of The La Sallian*, i felt jealous. I missed the good old days, where words flow freely through my head and i remember always bringing a small notebook or pieces of paper with me where ever i go, because i tend to think about words,phrases that could really make a good piece of writing. 

So, tonight is the night where i could sleep properly, and not think about submissions, deadlines or FINALS. I've had a rough week, and for those who are having the same dilemma, this is for you:

Things come and go,

Situations arrive with a purpose,

Ups and downs are for sure,

Just hold on, tightly.

Faces will frown,

Tears might fall,

Hearts will surely break,

Just move one, strongly.

Realizations will slap you,

Disappointments will come,

Time will pass,

Just pray, silently

life is hard,

living it is tougher,

grow and mature,

just never, let go.

my persef1 final paper:)

I would just like to share to everybody what i have written for my PERSEF paper haha! I'm shocked at myself for writing my paper the way it is now, but nevertheless, I am happy with it. ENJOY!

*this is 4 pages long so...yeah..\m/*

           If I would be an object I would be a gadget. I have always referred to myself as a gadget. Let it be an iphone, a laptop, an ipod, because all these things have the same purpose and it is to give service, to share joy, to connect or unite people. For me, if not everybody, then those are my purpose in life. I believe everybody is born for a very special reason. And when I reflect on myself and on my attitude,  I see myself as a glue that tries to bond everybody to create a harmonious environment. A gadget has a lot of features, so do I. I may look, well, small, complicated, high maintenance, and incapable at first glance. But, I am somebody you cannot live without. Just like a gadget, I will always be there whenever you need me. And in the times where you might have lost me or misplaced me, I hope to be the person that people would go crazy and panic then would look for me everywhere. But then again, just like any other devices out there, whenever there’s a new model that’s out in the market, I pray that they would not throw me away and replace me with something new. I am the type of person that is always game for anything, but still has certain limitations. I firmly believe I make everyone happy, no matter how annoying our phones are in the morning when it’s trying to wake us up, we are still grateful for our mobile phones. Just exactly like me, no matter how irritating, how childish, noisy, I am, I can still end your gloomy day with a rainbow.  Nothing in this world is perfect, even our expensive gadgets have viruses, glitches, defects. So am I, but we need to accept it whole heartedly and through time solution could be found and updates could be installed. I am a human being, and just like our phones, time will come when I’m empty and weary. I need to be charged and taken care of, after all I’m also a person.

            Now this part of my paper, is going to sound cliché. But, there have been no changes, just realizations. (Miss, I’m going to be really open about this because, well, this is the truth and I’m not ashamed of it J ). First, I am not happy. I laugh, smile and giggle every day. I throw the corniest jokes and pick-up lines. I wipe the tears of sad people, and remove the frowns of those who feel hate. But every afternoon, when I get home from school, I would always find myself sitting in our balcony beside my cat, and fell nothing. I feel empty and alone. I started to wonder why; I always come home to a house, that’s empty. But I never complained, as the matter of fact I already got used to it because it has been that way for 10 years. So what’s wrong? Until now, I can’t give an answer, I am only certain about 2 things: I am sad and lonely. And I shall find my happiness soon, whatever or whoever it maybe. Second, I realized I am such a lost teen. I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I wanted to shift to marketing, I want to focus on my online store, I needed to study, I have commitments with my org, I want to apply for an internship somewhere, and other time consuming stuffs. It always feel like I’m so busy at doing things and there’s hardly enough time for me to enjoy or relax, but when I see my list of accomplishments or achievements, there’s only a few that I name as an accomplishment. I kept asking myself, what have I been doing for the past 3 months? Am I just wasting my time?  Now, I am trying to prioritize things and believe me, it is hard. There’s always a time for everything and I shall soon find time for the things I love. I want to live life to the fullest, experience every happy and tragic things life has to offer. I want to regret doing things rather that regretting not taking the opportunity to do something. I can definitely say that, the me right now, is trying her best to put her best foot forward and to be somebody. To do things she love, to get good grades, and TO BE HAPPY. Whatever my happiness is, I hope, wish and pray that I might find it soon.

            This may sound like I’m just making bola the subject PERSEF1, but PERSEF1 has actually taught me 3 things this term. First is to be responsible, just like in any other classes, I needed to wake up early, get dresses and I must not be late in class and in submission for requirements.  It’s shameful for a student to fail a class especially PERSEF1 wherein we do not have to memorize numbers or dates or terms, just because of incomplete requirements and lates. Second is always be ready, this has no relation to this course, but a ton of unfortunate events happen to me every Thursday. I do not know why and I cannot explain it. Lastly, PERSEF1, made me use my mind more. Just like Tapat’s platform, “just ask”. Ever since PERSEF1 started, I have always raised questions for myself, for me to think about and for me to figure out. Because of PERSEF1 I took the risk of shifting courses (I read the career module in advance J). So PERSEF1 may just be another course for me that I needed to pass and complete so that I can go on to PERSEF2, but it has really helped me in my life as a student and as a young adult and I am very thankful for that. I hope that there could be a module in PERSEF1 about individuality, because a lot of teens wants to fully know themselves or to have that sense of individuality but is having a terrible time (like me). So, I hope that there could be a module wherein they could really get to know themselves, their personal taste, their own style, and also teach them to respect other’s uniqueness as well. I hope we can have this at PERSEF 2, but it would benefit the frosh more, because at least while their still young, fun and free, they already know how to express themselves.

            So as I finish this paper, I would like to thank you (Ms, Yumi), for being our PERSEF 1 teacher, let us meet in PERSEF 2/3. To my classmates that I got to know (a bit), see you some other time, and to those I never really got the chance to talk to, well maybe next time(J). May the readers of this paper be happy after reading this as I am while writing it. Sayonara, as we say it Japanese, goodbye PERSEF1, Ohayo to PERSEF 2.

La sallians need sleep

this whole week is our so called HELL-WEEK.....7 days before holy week, 7 days wherein all teachers tries to let you submit everything so that they, themselves can have fun during the holy week. the thing is, while kids from UST, ATENEO, SAN BEDA and other colleges are rubbing it to our face that they have a huge problem of not knowing what to do or where to go. As for us, we are thinking about our grades, finals, and our freaking deadlines. it's nearly 2 in the morning and i am still freaking awake......like WHAT THE FUUCK.... *thats it*

SUUUUUMMMEEEEER

It's already the start of summer for a lot of students. They are now planning where to go, what to do, what movies to watch. While we La Sallians and other colleges are still in the midst of studying for our upcoming finals. :(( papers are due. final projects to be done, last minute incentive oppurtunity. I am so jealous! i want to feel the warm sun on my skin, the soft cool waves brushing against my toes. I WANNA GO TO THE BEAACH!!!

"This is a shot of me in White Island in Camiguin last september. " 

I'm still alive

          I've been pretty occupied lately and it seems like i have a lot of things to do but when i see my accomplishments parang ang konti lang:((
           
           In this blog, i might write in tagalog, english, chinese or japanese so plese bear with me nalang:)) *even my bekiness :))*

           This week, I've been trying to look for internship opportunities, stylists, designers or people from  magazines, if you need interns...I"M HERE. I'll share to all of you what i have to do for this week:

*2 research papers
* 40 survey forms
*a quiz (japanese class)
*resume for my internship
* video shoot for my organization
*plan my sched for next term
*Review for finals (1 class)
*debut (whole weekend)
.....................................................all this was just given today:)))

            I will post fashion, food, and people related things by tomorrow or later. stay tuned guys!

This is IT!!

Hi I'm Katrina and this is my first blog entry. I've been wanting to blog for the longest time now, but i just never had the guts to start one until one of my class required us to have a blog. I'm so proud of myself right now (EEEEP!!XD)

So, to start of I'll be introducing myself. I'm a freshmen at De La Salle University, I'm taking up Japanese Studies and Business Management...well i plan to shift but we'll see. I love people, food, fashion, music, fun and whatever.

After this post, I'll post another one that would officially start my blogging-shizz. So, stay tuned for more!!